If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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