That's intense
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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