I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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