My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
