Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
