you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
