bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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