he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize