i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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