I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
