Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We are two peas in an std pod
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
