We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
