been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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