Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I love you. Go after that dick
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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