i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
