i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
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This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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