we have officially lost it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
