Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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