she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I skipped work to stalk him.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
