I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
