First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
