Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
