Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
