grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize