Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
