***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
