have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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