if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
