So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
