New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
