she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
