Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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