Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
