i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
