Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
