I wanna bring you to show and tell
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
