Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
