I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
