didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
