the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
