Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
