butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
