y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
