I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
