I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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