This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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