Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
