if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
