My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
