By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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