Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
