Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
