Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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