he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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