just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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