It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize