mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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