your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have post one night stand depression
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