he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
