my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
