new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
