Where did you get a picture of my penis
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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