so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm passing your future prison.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
