Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
