i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
