marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
