I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
