Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just gift wrapped bread.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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