dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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